@Furry_Beaver: My boss asked me why I'm late, apparently answering "because your wife wouldn't let me get out of bed" just gets you sent to HR.
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@KentWGraham: Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
@SamGrittner: I've honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people