@UnIxphysco: My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
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@Merman_Melville: At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die
@LackOfShame: I'm "had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing" years old.
@UnFitz: Dyslexic Superbowl watchers were probably disappointed when they saw football instead of a superb owl.