@RidiculousSheri: Nobody harasses you on the street when you walk around wearing a belt made of live cats.

@KentWGraham: I used to love pretending I was Captain America and flinging a garbage can lid at kids in the neighborhood. But then my wife made me stop.

@TequilaTears: Can you imagine how fast those clowns who make balloon animals can roll a joint.

@murfer28: I don't want to lock my account because I like to help my X's feel better about themselves when they check in & make sure I'm still a drunk.

@Book_Krazy: Hub: Still mad? Me: Jack & Jill went up the hill H: To fetch a pail of water M: Jack fell down & died a violent death Hub: Ok, still mad