@rainerfm: My boss got hit by a car while I was on my way to the wishing well so yes, I do have some spare change.
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@TeaAndCopy: [Putting petrol in car] １９.９５ １９.９６ １９.９７ [stops] [gently now] １９.９８ [very gently] １９.９９ [ok, once more] [deep breath] ３７.８３ GODDAMMIT
@omgthatspunny: Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.
@vineyille: Scientist next to me: My god. Reality is a simulation. Me (also a scientist): My god. I haven't fed my tamagotchi in 17 years.
@Michael_Erhart: "Now?" "Not yet." "Now?" "Not quite." *Car approaches* "Now?" "Now." -Deer crossing the road