@WheelTod: My boss has a rather shrill phone voice. I once spent 20m talking to him, before realizing it was actually someone trying to send us a fax.
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@ericsshadow: [first date] HIM: Can I call you sometime? HER: [slowly slides napkin over phone] You can't... I lost my phone
@MarlonBrandNO: [First Date] "Okay don't let her know you're a tool shed" Waiter: Anything to drink? Date: a screwdriver please *My head slowly opens*
@MissNaughty1801: The worst thing about finding out Santa isn't real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents