@WheelTod: My boss has a rather shrill phone voice. I once spent 20m talking to him, before realizing it was actually someone trying to send us a fax.
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@ohen39: me: *crying* I think I have lost my perception of time doctor: when did it start? me: [reaching for tissue] 6000 years ago
@LizHackett: Hi, famous people getting DUIs. You know you can probably afford a driver, right? Just a thought.
@DanMentos: I bet the first person to keep track of his age was a gigantic tool "This is my 24th winter" Shut up and help us kill this boar, Stuart
@KateWhineHall: "Oh my gosh, this is the biggest donut I've ever seen." "Mam, that's a tire." "Kids, get me a napkin."