@o__0Dev: My boss really hates that I shortened his name to Dick.... Especially since his name is Steve
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@novicefather: I remember back when I had to charge my Nokia 8210 once every 96 days. My iPhone lost 4% just typing this tweet.
@markydoodoo: Ever try spreading really cold butter on toast? I'm like the human version of that.
@Contwixt: If you tell me your kid is 22 months and I buy it a beer, that's on you. That is your bad.