@bad_as_you_want: My boss said , "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my wonder woman costume
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@GrowlyGrego: My 5yo is a pretty good drawer but there's only so many t-shirts you can fit into a tiny person.
@beefman138: I meant to type : You're dear to me. I actually typed : You're dead to me. Losing friends is easy.
@iRowlf: Can prisoners ask for The Olive Garden's Endless Pasta for their last meal? If so, I think I just found a loophole in our judicial system.
@caribdonna: My husband said I was passive aggressive so I punched him in the face and said well, you're half right.