@bad_as_you_want: My boss said , "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my wonder woman costume
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@just1fool: To convert Celsius to Fahrenheit to double Celsius and add thirty. To convert someone to Mormonism you double the wives and add 17 kids.
@SatansTongue: 6th grade nurse: do you play baseball Me: uhh why Nurse: your right arm is so much stronger than- Me: oh yeah! Yeah I play baseball so much