@scot4bz: My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home
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@t_cuppp: Sit-ups are no fun, sharpie abs are definitely the way to go if you want permanent results.
@i_wantMyBiitch: I gently slid her panties to the side.... so that I cud fit the rest of her socks in the drawer.
@jazmasta: [speaking to an attractive lady] "How can a beautiful girl like you be single?!" "Dave, I literally dumped you 5 minutes ago. Please leave"