@Kcamp_95: My boyfriend broke up with because I make too many Linkin Park references, but in the end it doesn't even matter.
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@kumailn: Twitter 1 Act: -Person misreads sarcasm -You point out it's sarcasm -"I know I was being sarcastic back" -Sharpen pencil, jam it in own eye
@Glittery_Love: I need your fingers, rubbing me hard, circling around my red swollen ...mosquito bite. What did YOU think I'm talking about? Weirdos!!
@chairmanMAO_92: This hot girl asked me to recommend some music so i said Pink Floyd, she said "I didn't know Pink used her last name as well" Now she's dead
@toujours_fab: My husband said he needs to have sex and now he is mad at me. Apparently, asking 'with each other' was the wrong response.