@Kcamp_95: My boyfriend broke up with because I make too many Linkin Park references, but in the end it doesn't even matter.
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@jiggynye: My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
@underchilde: We appreciate the 3 billion guys that signed up for our sex study, but unfortunately we only need five.
@derekblackmon: Still laughing about that time my grandmother said God told her to put my grandfather in an asylum because he was hearing voices in his head
@thejamietighe: Boss: Why is there an olive in your water? Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water.