@lovemydogduck: My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
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@Social_Mime: I'd give my wife my coat if she's cold but I'll take it back if I become cold and maybe she'll be prepared next time we go out.
@juliussharpe: The Super Bowl is a great opportunity to let 200 million people know your ad agency sucks.
@_4kidscrazy: Me: *shakes bosses hand* Sorry I'm late to the meeting boss. Boss: No problem, restroom? Me: Yes, and we're out of TP and hand soap again.