@lovemydogduck: My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
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@hobo_hands: Having swords for arms was a terrible first wish but it was a genie and I blurt weird things out when I panic.
@JasonLastname: How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?
@rockymomax: COP: drop the gun CRIMINAL: no COP: [flipping through police handbook, whispers to partner] it doesnt say what to do if he says no
@TequilaTears: Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"