@SocialustGal13: My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That's the last time we're playing Monopoly.
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@AndyAsAdjective: This is probably a controversial take but I think the sanitation worker responsible for garbage collection on Sesame Street should be fired.
@Eightinchgoat: *Pulls your panties to the side* *Tries to remember how I even ended up wearing your panties*
@haleysfalling: hi yes i'd like a vodka salad please "you mean a bloody mary" yeah yeah whatever just hurry it up
@jergarl: Me: BABE HAVE YOU SEEN MY.. Wife: Fridge. M: Shoe? W: Fridge. M: How did you.. W:*reads note* Dear sober me, fridge. M:... W: Idiot.