@JimHeskett: My buddy used to say "why should I wash my towels? After I shower, I'm the cleanest thing in the room." He's still single.
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@daddyville: I like the word "panties" so much I'm going to start using it in place of "cool." Friend: Check out my new car! Me: Oh man, that's panties.
@mantej: Haters gonna hate. Tweeters gonna tweet. It’s actually pretty obvious that verbs are performed by their respective nouns.
@shkeeber: If a genie grants you 3 wishes, use the first one to make the genie develop short term memory loss, and then keep making 2nd wishes forever.
@BendyBacon: Grammar Tip: When the zombie apocalypse starts I will be using people who write 'would of' instead of 'would have' as human shields.