@VodkaThursday: My bunny thumps at trash collectors. Nice to know that if the Sanitation Dept. ever has ill intentions, she won't stand for any of that shit
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@bluntphilip: There's nothing more realistic in this world than a 26 year old couple on a house hunting tv show with a $1 million budget.
@Holy_Mowgli: restaurant owner: you start on monday me: I can't wait restaurant owner: I don't think this will work out then
@juliussharpe: Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages.
@TheMichaelRock: Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don't have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire.