@_sweet_ham: My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@YourAnMoron: I accidentally just laughed at something my 4-year-old did so now I have to pretend to laugh as she does it forty thousand more times.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches.
@TheNameIsBillyB: After reading about Rihanna's thug life tattoo, I think we all owe Chris Brown an apology.
@2014longview: If you carry a baseball bat in your car, you should carry a glove too. Your lawyer will thank you.