@Sickayduh: My cat's tongue is like a little piece of sandpaper. I'm scratched to hell but this floor is almost finished.
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@PinkCamoTO: "Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
@DiscoFruit: i'm gonna build my house on your house and if you even come close to my house that's attached to your house, we'll attack you.. - bees
@drhappyknuckles: Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad.
@rablivingstone: In some societies it's considered rude to put post-it notes on people's heads in the doctor's surgery with your guess what's wrong with them