@clyderun: My company just gave the janitor the Employee of the Month Award in a big ceremony that he spent hours cleaning up afterwards.
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@Tommytoughstuff: "Can I pet your dog?" "Sure, but he can be aggressive." [He pushes a pamphlet about the dangers of gluten towards me with his nose]
@AmishPornStar1: Apparently, lifting your feet so she can reach underneath, Is NOT considered "helping her vacuum." Lesson learned, fellas. Lesson learned.
@Marlebean: "Make yourself at home." they say, then it's "Ma'am please put your bra back on." Make up your mind, library story time, make up your mind!