@clyderun: My company just gave the janitor the Employee of the Month Award in a big ceremony that he spent hours cleaning up afterwards.
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@lunchbox_82: I wanted to be Batman when I was a kid. So I kept leading my parents into dark alleys in the bad part of town.
@panmidwest: BOSS: OK! Who smashed a hole through the wall?! [Everyone in the office stares at me, even the Kool-Aid man]
@bluntphilip: Rich people in movies apparently can't drink scotch without telling everyone how old it is.