@clyderun: My company just gave the janitor the Employee of the Month Award in a big ceremony that he spent hours cleaning up afterwards.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ilovepie84: Your Parents divorced because your Dad didn't want to put your talentless paintings on the fridge.
@dumbbeezie: Shopping with friend "Look, triangle-shaped tupperware for your leftover pizza!" Me: "What's leftover pizza?
@internetluke: [hears a baby crying on the train] Can somebody put that thing on silence please? "It's a baby.." ... "..." Vibrate?
@P0tterhead_394: "You have a very large package downstairs." I really need to work on how I word things to the men around this office.