@EmoPhilips: My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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@Pork_Chop_Hair: I'm so glad you're all here. I'd like to talk to you all about a legging candle vitamin jewelry networking opportunity. Please, have a seat.
@david8hughes: [leans over to kid watching Planet of the Apes in the theatre] Call them monkeys one more time & see what happens.
@animaldrumss: Guy [beating me up for making a joke at an inappropriate time]: whos funny now you piece of shit Me: wait, you thought i was funny before?
@ThingsJackDigs: “You a cop?” UNDERCOVER COP: No. “So you wouldn't mind if I … threw these donuts away?” UC: *sweats profusely*