@Schmoodles: My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening.
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@T_N_Crumpets: WIFE: COME AND GET RID OF THIS SPIDER ME to spider: I told you, you'll get your money. Leave my family out of this SPIDER: you've got 2days
@Neauxpe: Anytime a religious organization follows me I just assume I'm being used as a case study/example and they are praying super hard.
@mattZillaaaa: Saw a young couple holding hands today & it reminded me that I need to buy a bottle of vodka