@Schmoodles: My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SaraMansford: Steven King, Dean Koontz and Anne Rice have all announced their retirement stating: Nothing we write will ever be scarier than this election
@jjhartinger: I'm curious about the first person who saw an egg drop out of a chicken & said, "I'm going to eat that."
@WheelTod: Always use a fish knife when eating fish, a tomato knife when eating tomato, and a Swiss Army knife when eating a member of the Swiss army.
@JermHimselfish: I just tripped and stumbled into a group of asian kids on the street and accidentally won a breakdancing competition.