@PhilJamesson: "My computer just crashed" is going to be a much more serious statement when self-driving cars are the norm
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@muskrat_john: "WHAT ARE WE TO TELL THE CHILDREN ABOUT GAYS MARRYING?" Dunno. I'll ask my 5-year-old, who just married her stuffed bear to a stuffed pony.
@RocketRankoon: "So, do you play any instruments?" Me: *slaps knees for 30 minutes straight without breaking eye contact*
@mstern68: [after first date] Him: I had a great time, I'd love to see you again Her: Yes, we should do this again sometime but with other people
@david8hughes: [baby wakes up in the middle night] "Go back to sleep, hun. I'll sort it out." [puts baby on eBay]