@PhilJamesson: "My computer just crashed" is going to be a much more serious statement when self-driving cars are the norm
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@iLightbulb: Me:I need to focus on work Brain: Remember that sweet song on the radio this morning? Me:Yeah that was sweet Brain: Let's sing that instead
@Sassafrantz: 57% of serial killers were bed wetters until an unusually advanced age. Let's make fun of them! What's the worst that could hap..never mind.
@causticbob: I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'
@SharkJelly: Clark Kent "I have a confession" Lois Lane "what is it?" *Clark removes his glasses* Lois "Is it a bird?" Clark "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"