@tastefactory: My computer keeps giving me an error message saying "The Printer Can't Be Found." Uh buddy it's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, HELLO
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@Laser_Cat: All the girls I've ever kissed can agree on one thing. It's weird that I have a beak.
@tacos_y_cerveza: If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth the $20
@ItsAndyRyan: First date Her: Wow this place is posh Me: *clicks fingers* Garçon, we'd like to order food Waiter: Entrées? Me: No, on plates, you fool
@tarashoe: A WOMAN: i've only been washing my hair ME: IN THE OFFICE BATHROOM SINK!! ME TOO!! THE WOMAN: once a ME: ONCE I WAKE UP I KNOW SAME ME TOO!!