@mikealfredcaine: my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying "jeff is dead" so they know what the flowers are for
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@flashember: *wakes up in a forest grove surrounded by deer* ME:[nervous] are u the good deer or the evil deer? (i see one deer holding up a classic copy of Bambi on VHS) ME:[sigh of relief] *deer breaks VHS in half* ME:*gasps* oh no
@Diversion50: IAN: Why is that bear hanging out in the bar? ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really? ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian.
@_NinJar: I accidentally gave my newborn Muscle Milk instead of formula and now he's blasting Pantera and doing one arm pull-ups off his crib