@imteddybless: my cousin's baby is due tomorrow & my grandma keeps checkin her phone for news. waitin for the baby 2 text her like "im here lol. from baby"
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@Thee1_4U: The snow in the front yard is melting and so far I've found 3 unopened beers. *Adds party planner to résumé*
@WheelTod: "Children can be very cruel," I reassure my 6 year-old. "But sometimes it seems like you aren't even trying."
@HysteriaBarbie: Relationship status: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU CALLED A STORMTROOPER A ROBOT
@Six_Pack_Mom: Dear Electric Company, You're welcome. Go buy yourself something special. -My family, every summer.