@RamblingMachine: My crush said we can't be together because he's seeing another woman so I asked him to rub his eyes and check if I still look different.
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@iamspacegirl: My lasso of truth is just an eel I point aggressively at the people I'm questioning. We have a 100% success rate.
@EliTerry: The only way to protect ourselves from eagle attacks is of course MORE eagles. Fill our homes with these gentle, knife clawed birds of prey.
@MoistPork: There's no "I" in meat, but there's "me" and "eat", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic.