@RamblingMachine: My crush said we can't be together because he's seeing another woman so I asked him to rub his eyes and check if I still look different.
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@alienated: PSA for librarians: occasionally check how the World Book encyclopedia is arranged on your shelves
@SuperJuanderer: Me: Weaknesses? Oh, I'd say not relating well to other sentient beings. -I meant about the janitor job. Me: Oh ya, I don't know how to sweep
@Parentpains: Sometimes I'll tell my wife the car is making a weird noise and I need to listen just so I don't have to hear her talk.