@click4amanda: My dad called to ask if sending an email to the USA costs more. I told him a LOT more, better not risk it
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@shutupmikeginn: I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, 'change color and escape in a cloud of ink'
@ericsshadow: [text] "Hey" Hi. "I'm just laying in bed thinking about you." This is your mom. "New phone who dis?" Eric, that doesn't work. You texted me.
@fro_vo: Cop: i told you this land is off limits Me: oh i thought you said it was all flimits Cop: wtf are flimits Me: idk let's go look Cop: ok