@Ndeshi_M: My dad is Jamaican and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.
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@KeetPotato: [on quiz show] "and if you won some money today keith, what would you do with it?" *leans way too close into the microphone* spend it alex
@krautsider: If you ever feel like a complete moron never forget that I managed to text my wife today that she forgot her mobile at home. You're welcome.
@PaperWash: I'm sorry son, but autocorrect keeps changing your name to Marty. That's your new name now, there's nothing we can do about it.