@Ndeshi_M: My dad is Jamaican and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.
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@Puncroaker: Me; Right, some revision? Son: K Me: Start with chemistry? Him: K Me: Periodic table? Him: K Me:What's the symbol for potassium? Him: Dunno
@dafloydsta: [marriage counseling] She thinks I'm stupid "He covers himself in baby powder before we have sex" HOW ELSE DO YOU MAKE A BABY, KAREN?
@UncleDuke1969: She said we needed to talk and... I said, "Yeah, I think we should break up, too." She said, "About where to eat." "Oh," I said, "Pizza?"