@bugbucket: my dads complaining that i ate all his pills but I'M complaining that he's a giant melting prism of pure energy thats turning into a dragon
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@Inconsteveable: My New Year's resolutions: 1. Stop making lists. B. Be more consistent. 7. Learn to count.
@Jordan_Morris: Here's one of the dumbest thoughts I've ever had: I got a coupon for a new car wash place, which was great because my car was really dirty. I noticed that the address was close to my house and thought: "Oh, this is close. Maybe I can just walk?"
@abhorrent_wife: Sometimes I'll show my husband the chewed up food in my mouth just so he's reminded of the delicacy and beauty of the flower he chose.