@SondraDeeMe: My dance moves are best described as a woman trying to put on pants 4 sizes too small, with a wasp flying around her head.
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@eddie_ferrero: [FIRST DAY AS A NUDE MODEL] INSTRUCTOR: Sir, we need you to take off your socks. ME: (chuckles) Oh, sorry. INSTRUCTOR: (clears throat) All three of them.
@FunnyMojoJojo: I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek...
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd like to bring a guest.