@AndyAsAdjective: my dance moves can best be described as "did that dude just try to leap frog?" & "whoa that's a lot of blood" & "is he still alive?"
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@TheTweetOfGod: "God is good all the time!" Yeah. Not you though, Russ. You sucked for 55 frigging minutes.
@joeljeffrey: I texted my girlfriend "goodnight, love you" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings.
@Insomniac_Medic: I'm going to say sky diving is probably not for me since I just screamed when the toilet seat shifted.
@patrickmarkryan: On a positive note, once Trump becomes president and burns the world to the ground, our student loan debt is essentially wiped clean