@Sassafrantz: My date said he wasn't looking for anything serious like I was trying to help him solve cold case files and shit.
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@DaddyJew: 7: what do you want for your birthday? Me: idk a new car 7: ok *walks away* [ 2 min later ] 7: what do you want that's under $6.42?
@DrainBamagedHD: Hey, people who leave the volume on an odd, non divisible by 5 number, how do you live with yourselves?!
@XplodingUnicorn: [5-year-old and 3-year-old scream at each other] Me: Is that how your mom and I settle arguments? 5: You want me to sleep on the couch?