@Sassafrantz: My date said he wasn't looking for anything serious like I was trying to help him solve cold case files and shit.
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@CVTBaby: You know how you have that ONE hoodie that no matter when or what you're eating -- you ALWAYS spill something on it? It's cuz you're a pig.
@LionJenkins: [First day at New Job] New Boss: When in Rome do as the Romans you know? <Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry>
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I'd run way more miles a day if someone holding a bagel was running in front of me and someone holding a spider was chasing after me.
@iAmJuddy: |T|h|i|n|k| |I| |f|o|u|n|d| |s|o|m|e|t|h|i|n|g| |m|o|r|e| |a|n|n|o|y|i|n|g| |t|h|a|n| |h|a|s|h|t|a|g|s|