@Scarlet_Rose67: My daughter asked me what marriage is like, so I threw out all her Ken dolls, except for the bald drunk one.
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@ericsshadow: Cop: license and registration. Me: I don't carry my drivers license so I don't lose it. Cop: where is it? Me: I have absolutely no idea.
@_Shizzle: I went on a date with a girl I met from twitter once. It didn't work out, but he's one of the nicest guys I've ever met.
@SlabBaconBP: Could you Christian rock singers please invest in a thesaurus. I think God is fully aware by now that you think he is "great" and "awesome."