@seamussaid: my daughter has been thrusting her stuffed animals in my face for me to kiss, but I'm being very selective so she learns to have standards
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@NicestHippo: GOD: Done! Every animal niche perfectly filled WOODPECKERS: We didn't get anything GOD: Oh. Uh...just pound trees with your face
@Rollinintheseat: *Comments on Facebook picture* "That headband your baby is wearing really accentuates her baldness."