@HandyJack420: My daughter just finished watching Frozen so, counting today that's 12,521,865,635,869 times since Tuesday
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@JawnQSack: "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." A zombie trying to convince his son to finish his dinner.
@bourgeoisalien: when I hit 45 I'm going to start sleeping in a coffin. let's be honest, my lifestyle choices have been questionable
@LiamDrydenEtc: "Millennials are so entitled!" Aye well I don't see 20-somethings screaming for the manager because their coupon expired a month ago, Janet
@CroweJam: Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.