@HousewifeOfHell: My daughter told me I'm "slightly prettier than Ben Franklin," so I have that going for me.
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@1_swarthy_dude: Her:[watching sunset]"Best date ever! Nothing can ruin this mo.." *crunching sounds* Me:[eating live Monarch butterflies out of a ziplock]
@cuntrystronggal: I'm sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the same way you treat everyone all the time.
@Fred_Delicious: "IS THERE A DOCTOR ON THE PLANE???" [i stand up super fast & knock myself out on the luggage compartment, requiring another doctor]