@weinerdog4life: Everyone at the office is going crazy because I faxed someone a hot dog

@AllyBallyBeal: Do not mess with bears. You'll be their victim. Yogi Bear wears clothes. Where did he get his clothes? That's right - a victim

@LoveNLunchmeat: I really need to go on the show Survivor. Not for the money or the fame. It's just the only way I'm ever gonna effectively lose weight.

@TheToddWilliams: CAT: Hey, sorry about puking on your pillow SCHRÖDINGER {busy}: Yeah, whatever CAT: So uh...what's the box for?

@Tups13: I've discovered the best way to get attention is to sit on the coffee table and meow loudly.