@Brianhopecomedy: My daughter turns 3 today. Due to our tight budget, we're not telling her.
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@peterjames48: How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix? One? I say one.
@sofarrsogud: Guys, ladies love a rugged man. Be like a wolf. Knock down her house. Eat her grandmother. Tear her to shreds. *makes wolf sounds
@Brianhopecomedy: If I applied for a job at the Vatican & they asked for my references I'd say, "Contact Him" while pointing up. HOW COULD I NOT GET THE JOB.