@iinkedZombie: My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
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@thenoahkinsey: I peeled off the sticker that said "Don't consume alcohol while on medication." I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.
@HatfieldAnne: Accidentally got melted butter on some fried chicken and this is my delicious origin story.
@juliussharpe: Arthur Miller underratedly sucked at naming characters. "Biff"?? "Happy"?? Dude, take five more minutes.