@Overdue_Bills: My daughter wrote "Daddy is the best" in the snow then smashed it when I made her come inside. She'll make some lucky guy miserable one day.
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@outsmartedmommy: What's for dinner? -A question asked by children who have no intention of eating the answer.
@justabloodygame: *Doorbell rings* *it's a regular kid* "Trick or treat!" ...and what are you supposed to be? *removes face, revealing an unending void* ＨＵＭＡＮ
@anerdonfire2: The good news: She actually gave me her number The bad news: She asked for it back after I fell and tripped into a plant walking away