@StellaGMaddox: My daughter wrote, "I will see you every day of our lives," on my Mother's Day card, so I guess we've resorted to threats now.
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@Pro_Jones_: Me: Boss our sales are really going updog. Boss: You mean up? Me: No, updog. Boss: What's updog? Me: Not our sales. We're bankrupt.
@BuckyIsotope: Joe Biden is in the White House kitchen right now licking every piece of silverware and putting them back in the drawer