@jenstatsky: My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
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@Jacob_Swift16: When I was a child someone shot me with a flare gun and I've been absolutely fabulous ever since
@jwoodham: What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.
@SirEviscerate: [Airport terminal] *waits at baggage claim area* *an entire roast pig emerges on the carousel* *I check the tag to make sure it's mine*