@robfee: My diet has slowly gone from balanced and nutritious to Augustus Gloop on the first stop of Willy Wonka's tour.
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@EJGomez: [sees a baby spit up after drinking from baby bottle] "lmao yo who invited the lightweight"
@Marcmywords2: Sometimes I'll purposely spill gravy on my pants to give me an excuse to leave early. The real trick is sneaking the gravy into church.
@DayneDimmick: I feel bad for spiders. I tripon my two feet all the time. Can only imagine the hell a clumsy spider goes through.