@StephenBCramer: My dirty language got me suspended in school but many years later I get rewarded with stars and retweets, never give up on your dreams kids.
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@jjhartinger: [happy hour with friends discussing politics] me: I'm going to keep my mouth shut. alcohol: wanna bet.
@Matt_The_1st: Hot girl in the avatar, but no selfies in your pics. I'm just gonna call you "bro" from now on.
@confusedlush: People who try to prepare for the end of the world are obviously misunderstanding the core concept.