@BrianIncognito: My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.
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@DiamondLou69: Saw a sign that read "Free Coupons". What I want to know is what kind of terrorist would hold coupons captive in the first place?
@FatherWithTwins: I like to torture my kids by buying them a new Xbox game, and then taking them to the zoo all day.
@jimmy_sharpe: Something just came up on my computer asking if I trusted it, and now we're running away to start a new life together.