@BrianIncognito: My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.
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@BobTheSuit: Job interview with the NSA Applicant: Would you like references? NSA: We have everything we need. App: You guys! NSA: I know, right!
@mean_crow: "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" said mommy bear. "Who hasn't" muttered daddy bear. "What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"
@nPhelendriqal: "I'll have what she's having." " Sir, this is a gynecolo-" "Shhhh.. *puts finger over Dr's lips* I said I'll have what she's having."