@TheToddWilliams: My doctor won't go away. I know what you're thinking but he has been eating small pieces of apple over many decades to build up an immunity.
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@shutupmikeginn: My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
@AristotlesNZ: I don't like telling people I used to be a stalker. It sounds better saying "I spent a lot of time studying a broad."
@GlennyRodge: My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me. The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet.