@OBiiieeee: My dog and I are just drivin around, listenin to music and OMG DOG DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE? PAWS AT 10 AND 2. DO NOT FOLLOW THAT SQUIRREL
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@jeffpfeifer66: Moaning and gasping "Give it to me baby!" during a prostate exam will leave you looking for a new doctor. Anybody know one?
@TheThomason: Professor X gets a lot of credit as a progressive considering his solution to a race conflict was "give them their own school."
@J0hnnyBlaze: How do girls remember every word of an argument? I don't remember what I had for dinner and I'm eating it now
@mewritesgood: I set my kid's dollhouse on fire then asked: DO YOU HAVE INSURANCE?! DOES BARBIE HAVE AN ESCAPE PLAN?! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! Life lessons