@JessiCanadian: My dog could not protect the house from robbers if they brought a vacuum cleaner.
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@withanewname: The last time I danced at a party, someone told me I looked like a wildebeest on a frozen lake.
@loudmouth_usa: My therapist wants me to start coming in twice a week probably because I'm super interesting
@just1fool: Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!
@Tmoney68: If I survived a plane crash in the wilderness, my biggest concern would be how much my airport parking bill would be.