@TrueTorontoGirl: My dog forgot it's mother's day, again.
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@lilgapeach30: 8 *walks into the house with covered in mud* Me: MY LORD 8: well that's a nice way to greet me but no, just your son.
@desi_princess: I told my boss I'm calling in sick today. He said, "You can't do that when you're already here." Is that true you guys?
@mattyglesias: Say what you will about Fidel Castro, at least he didn't use a private email server.