@TrueTorontoGirl: My dog forgot it's mother's day, again.
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@ImHopel3ss: My dealer said he'll be here in 20 minutes with the best popcorn ever. We're gonna watch a movie!
@Derekexplosm: Hey doofus, the fashion police called. Your father died last night on duty. He wanted you to have this. "Slim fitting houndstooth peacoat*
@heidi420x: Her: how are you Me: good Her: you sure? Me: yup Her: you're alright? Me: yes.. Her: really? Me: Her: are y-- Me: people like you go missing
@_davidlucas_: Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*