@FknVancouver: My dog is so excited about me washing the car that I'm starting to think he borrows it while I'm asleep
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@neiltyson: To tell you the truth, beginning a sentence with “To tell you the truth” throws into question all else you’ve previous said.
@rolldiggity: If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, "Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene," don't shout, "It was an action figure!"
@tuckerflodman: [CIA] -We need you to kill the leader of Russia. "I'll be Putin a bullet in his head. Carl Marx my words!" -Alright! Who invited PunMan?!