@FknVancouver: My dog is so excited about me washing the car that I'm starting to think he borrows it while I'm asleep
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@ScobeyWanKenobi: Just called the number of a guy I met last night and a pizza place answered. I didn't even know you could live in pizza places. I'm in love!
@Amburglar_: I hate when I'm getting a back rub & he stops 3 mins in & says "my thumbs hurt." It's not like I ever say "My jaw hurts." I finish the job.