@beccafacexo: My dog just attacked the pizza delivery man WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING
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@juhipande: I woke up because of birds chirping.nI wish I had wings too.nI would fly to each of these birds & choke them one by one. n6 am is too early.
@msbtx: Son: What does "nihilism" mean? Me: "Everything is meaningless." Son: Wow ok nice attitude. Do you know what it means or not?
@KevinFarzad: College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
@StormErika: People keep escaping from maximum security jails and I can't even manage to leave 5 minutes early from work.