@six_2_and_even: My dog would like you to know that there are many many good sticks out there
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@ArfMeasures: [Wife rubbing her temples after I told her how my job interview went] What...what do you mean, you "tried some breakdancing"?
@CodyJP9412: HER: What're you most afraid of? ME: *thinking of how terrible it would be if my dog laid eggs that hatched into cats* Losing you, babe.