@Dana_Bruno: My dog's pissed cos I buy him Senior food. He won't admit he's older now. So I scratch out the "i" on each can & tell him it's Mexican food.
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@carlyken: If you can't handle me getting arrested in my pajama pants at Walmart than you don't deserve me buying produce in my yoga pants at Target.
@iAmDelFreaky: I set up a life size mousetrap in my front yard, but instead of cheese as bait, I used a fedora. Death toll: 17 hipsters and a curious cat.
@Cheeseboy22: Some jerk called me "pretentious" so I called him a "planktupus." I can make up nonsense words too.