@alwayzintruble: My entire day will be spent laughing at my children because they have to go back to school tomorrow..
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@ninetek: if people paid attention to safety warnings at industrial sites, we'd have way fewer super heroes
@GeriatricBeards: *throws coin in fountain* stranger: can you not do that? Me: just want my wish to come true S: this is a drinking fountain m: wish came true
@ArfMeasures: ME [Puts up "Have u seen my dog?" posters across town] HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog! M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome
@WICKEDTRUTH01: *Takes your face in my hands* *Looks deep into your eyes* *Whispers "You make me want to spend the rest of my life avoiding you" *